0 Communication Breakdown

It happens to the best of us. Communication is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when love and feelings are involved. Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.

Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. This happened to me on the weekend, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise. My spouse told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I automatically lashed back in defense. 

It was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced bottle of perfume. But to me, it represented something much deeper that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks. I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be, worse still when my partner has shifted it and I don't know the first place to begin searching.

Perfume, needles and thread, car keys, a Tupperware container to store my baking soda in, covers for our outdoor chairs, all were examples of instances where I had to turn the house upside-down. A simple answer from my spouse when these things were shifted would have saved me a lot of time and frustration. And the answer I got? "You need to open your eyes and organize yourself better"

I was gutted. When I come home from work I exercise the dog and cook dinner so that it is on the table by the time my partner gets home. The house is always spotless and warm, as I'm very conscious of coming home to a tidy environment. 

I see this as a fundamental part of my role in coming home first, and it takes a lot of my time. To imply that I have the time to "organize yourself better" really hurt.

I don't expect praise, but I did hope that my efforts were recognized. I got told that "I don't expect you to cook my dinner every night." That was interpreted by me as ingratitude, and hurt me even more.

So where to from here? My spouse felt guilty at coming home every night to the perfect household, where I felt guilty if it wasn't perfect. It was never about me trying to make my spouse feel guilty, but it seems it did. And this is where the communication fell down. He misinterpreted my efforts, and I misinterpreted his response.

Communication, communication, communication. I needed my partner to keep me informed of where things move to. I need to be informed. I need to voice my frustration before it gets to boiling point. We both need to talk about our feelings more, and how each of our contributions to our home and our relationship make us feel, and how we interpret each others contributions. 

Just because something isn't spoken about, doesn't mean it's not important. A relationship or marriage is not a competition, but for many couples it feels like it.

When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication. The key to overcoming them is to recognize what it is, and have the courage to talk about it. You might be able to do it as a couple, or you might want the help of a friend who can listen to the way you are communicating with each other and offer insights and advice.

We got it sorted out, and kissed and hugged. It wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't feel such love at the same time. But it served as a good reminder to me. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person. You also need to entertain the possibility that you are misinterpreting each other. Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin.

A good lesson to learn, even for the experts'

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0 5 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Cheating On You

If you wonder if your partner is cheating on you then maybe this article in Yahoo can help you know the truth.

Ever wonder if your significant other isn't being entirely truthful?

Unfortunately, there's a good chance you're right. It's perfectly normal to lie.

In a study of undergrads, 60% of participants lied at least once during a 10-minute casual conversation with a stranger. But suppose that fibbing extended to important matters, like fidelity, and important people — like a significant other.

Science can't tell you if your partner is sleeping around, but recent research has shown we can often detect when someone is hiding something.

Here are five ways to tell if your partner may be keeping something important from you.

1. Ask a friend.
Other people — strangers, even — have an uncanny ability to detect when something's just not right in someone else's relationship.

Brigham Young University psychologists tested out this idea in a lab. They had couples partake in a collaborative activity in which they were supposed to draw an object. Before the activity, the scientists had the couples answer questions privately about the relationship, including whether or not they had cheated. Then, they blindfolded one participant — the designated artist — and had the other partner gave him or her directions on what to draw. The researchers videotaped the activity and later showed the footage to another group of volunteers who didn't know the couples.

The volunteers were frequently able to tell which of the couples included a partner who had cheated. (Their guesses were not right all the time, but more often than chance.)

While additional research is needed to corroborate this preliminary result, the work suggests that an outsider who observes a couple doing something that requires working together, like cooking or planning an event, may be able to detect infidelity or unhappiness.

"People make remarkably accurate judgments about others in a variety of situations after just a brief exposure to their behavior," wrote the researchers in the study.

2. Mull it over while doing something else.
People are generally bad judges of character — consciously, at least. When we are given time to process another person's actions subconsciously, however, we are far better at telling truth from deceit.

In 2013, a team of psychologists had a panel of student judges watch people give testimony and decide if they had been lying. The students who were given time to think before they made a decision — so long as they were made to think about something other than the case they were assessing — were better at figuring out whether the person they were judging had been lying.

"These findings suggest that the human mind is not unfit to distinguish between truth and deception," write the researchers in the study, "but that this ability resides in previously overlooked processes."

3. Listen to their voice.
Canadian researchers recently had a group of volunteers listen to a pair of voices and rate how attractive each speaker sounded. Then, the researchers asked them to judge how likely each person would be to cheat in a romantic relationship. While the female volunteers were most likely to say the men with lower-pitched voices would cheat, the men typically guessed that the women with higher-pitched voices would cheat.

Men with more testosterone tend to have deeper voices, and women with more estrogen tend to have higher-pitched speech. And as it turns out, higher levels of testosterone in men have been linked with higher rates of cheating — though the jury is still out on whether there is any such association in women.

The researchers have yet to link their findings with actual observed behavior, but they say the study's results make evolutionary sense. Hypothetically speaking, a preference for higher voices in women and lower voices in men might "allow us to choose a mate that is likely to stick around and have children, and not do so with other people," McMaster University psychologist Jillian O'Connor told LiveScience.

4. Pay attention to social media use.
Does your partner spend more time tweeting than talking to you? Recent research suggests that people who are highly active on Facebook and Twitter are more likely to have social-media-related conflict, and subsequently more likely to experience "infidelity, breakup, and divorce."

In his study, University of Missouri researcher Russell Clayton looked the social media habits of close to 600 Twitter users. The average person used Twitter close to an hour a day, five days a week. Those who tweeted, responded to tweets, or scanned their Twitter feed more often than that were more likely to get in arguments with their partners, and also more likely to divorce or cheat. The more time they spent on Twitter, the worse relationship outcomes Clayton observed.

It's unlikely that too much tweeting, posting and liking caused other people to cheat, but there is certainly a connection between the two behaviors.

5. Watch for sudden changes in behavior.
If you've been with your significant other for a while, chances are you know how they normally act — what type of foods they eat, how they react to challenges or surprises, how well they listen, etc.

Sudden changes in body language, from facial expressions to patterns of speech, can be red flags for duplicitous behavior, according to research from Lillian Glass, a behavioral analyst who once worked with the Federal Bureau of Investigation to study how to spot signs of deceit.

"Your body experiences these types of changes when you’re nervous and feeling tense — when you lie," she writes in her book, "The Body Language of Liars ."

One telltale sign of lying, she says, is a sudden inability to speak. This happens because our automatic nervous system often responds to stress by starving the mouth of saliva. Another is a change in breathing. This reflexive action can occur as a result of quick changes in heart rate and blood flow which make us feel out of breath.

Other research backs up Glass' findings — psychologists suggest looking out for when someone repeats a question after it's asked or veers into personal attacks rather than answering.

If by any chance that you find out that your partner is really cheating on you, do you know what to do next? If you still want to forgive your partner and want to survive this trial where do you start?

Discover how you can immediately disarm the threat of divorce and work on rebuilding and saving your marriage RIGHT NOW!

0 Reasons why Men Cheat

For those who want to know why men cheat Cosmopolitan.com listed top reasons why men cheat. The information came from cheating confession from the real guys and here are some of their reason why they have an affair.

1. He Already Knows You (Obviously)
2. His Buddy Kevin Did It
3. His Boss Tore Him a New One
4. His Fantasy Football Obsession Doesn't Bug Her
5. A Hot Chick Just Walked Past Him

But more than knowing the reasons why men do it, I think one more thing that women should know is how they can survive the hurt and heart ache that this affair has brought to them especially if they are already married.

If you've been hurt by your spouse who has cheated on you but still want to but still choose to rebuild the trust after you or your spouse committed the affair then admitting that you have done something wrong and you have hurt your partner is a start.

Follow Dr. Gunzburg’s 3-part process for rebuilding the honesty and forgiveness after an affair.

0 What Is Marriage Sherpa

A sherpa is defined as:
     a member of a Himalayan people living on the borders of Nepal and Tibet, renowned for their skill in mountaineering.
     a civil servant or diplomat who undertakes preparatory political work prior to a summit conference.

Marriage sherpa on the other hand offers an online marriage counseling tips to those seeking help from a marriage counselor. If you have problems with your marriage and want to get the help of a marriage sherpa or a marriage counselor then this program can help you.

Marriage Sherpa partnered with experienced certified marriage therapists and marriage counselors to give marriage saving courses and programs designed to save your marriage, survive marital affairs and stop a divorce.

Does marriage counseling work? Of course, but marriage counseling costs can really add up if you randomly buy dozens of marriage counseling books.

Stop the endless search, hope is available let MarriageSherpa help you.

0 Marriage Sherpa Emotional Affair

Emotional Affairs are not any less hurtful than Physical affair. Actually emotional affair is a big problem or a threat to your marriage.

Today, there are so many ways you or your partner can be unfaithful. There’s texting, phone calls, emails and more. Here are some of Emotional Affair Signs to know if you or your husband is having an emotional affair.

1. Your behavior towards the other party can be one of the signs that you are having an emotional betrayal. If you tend to feel awkward with a good friend whenever your lover is around or you keep some distance and awkwardness and formality in your conversations when your lover’s by your side there’s a high chance that you are already having an emotional affair with that person.

2. You feel very excited to share any new thoughts or ideas with a very close friend. You are excited to share anything to your friend and only to that person. You want to share and tell this person first when something happens in your day or you are looking forward to next time seeing or talking to that person.

3. Saying “We’re just friends” in your mind. These words are usually said to rationalize something you know is wrong. Maybe you are already on the stage of doing an affair or thinking of having an affair with someone.

4. Do you ever feel the urge of talking to your friend or do you feel incomplete or feel like something is missing when you don’t speak to your friend for a couple of days? Are you thinking and daydreaming about the person more and more? You only have those kinds of thoughts to that friend and not to your other regular friends.

5. Sharing intimate emotions or secrets with each other because you believe that this person understands you more that your partner. You share your innermost secret or you keep secrets for each other and covering up. Remember that secrets bonds two people together.

There are other emotional affairs signs that you should be aware about to know that you are already committing an emotional affair. If you want to save your marriage then let marriage sherpa emotional affair help you!

0 How To Save My Marriage

Save Your Marriage Using a Little-Acclaimed Secret Ingredient!

Has your relationship gone stale and you want to know what it will take to save your marriage? Or, have your differences been tearing you apart, leading to fight after fight, often followed by long, cold distances?

You’re not alone. The divorce statistics are sobering. And yet, there are many married couples who represent the marriages that succeed.

What do they know that the unsuccessful group wishes they knew, too? Read on…

A Critical Ingredient to Save Your Marriage

There’s one big mistake many couples repeat day in and day out: talking about their problems non-stop.

Don’t get me wrong – talking about the issues in your marriage is important. But talking about them constantly is unhealthy, boring and likely to stifle the emotional connection with your spouse.

Similarly, spending every waking moment taking care of work and chores, or talking about who will take care of work and chores, is like starving your marriage of the vital nutrients it needs for survival.

I know you are busy and the pace of your world has picked up tremendously, and often you feel like you barely have time to breathe. It seems there’s no time for anything else.

When marriages go into this type of crisis mode, where the emotional connection has been eroded due to everyday problems and concerns, there is one problem cropping up over and over again. It’s a problem that many people fail to address, and it’s one that often ends up destroying the marriage: a lack of fun.

Every couple faces similar challenges: balancing the day-to-day concerns with keeping the relationship alive. It’s a struggle to varying degrees, depending on personalities, whether there are kids in the picture, economic considerations and career demands.

A lot of these things can drive couples to engage in a great deal of conflict. But not all couples who are in this state of crisis go on to divorce. What’s different about them?

Having fun with your partner is one of the most important aspects of your relationship. Dating and having a good time is what brought you together in the first place. If you’re wondering why your relationship isn’t full of the passion and joy you used to have, it may very well be that you have let the fun die.

And when the fun dies, the entire relationship often goes with it. After all, fun helps keep your marriage glued together because it strengthens the emotional connection between you and your spouse.

To keep your marriage nourished requires having or creating fun experiences with your partner. Of course, you need to carve the time to make this happen.

Maybe going out and having a good time is complicated by your hurt and angry feelings. Your bad emotions might feel so intense that you simply don’t think you
can enjoy time with your partner. Another problem may be that you simply have no idea what to do together. You might have a hard time coming up with fun activities. Or, you might have a sense of what you like to do independently, but you have no idea what you could do together.

But if you want to save your marriage, you need to figure it out. You’ll be richly rewarded – with a glowing, positive balance in a certain bank.

The Secret of Successful Couples

So, let’s reveal the secret of those couples who experience conflict like the rest of us and yet their marriages stand the test of time. These couples do one very important thing: they rack up the balance of positive experiences in their marriage to counteract the negative ones.

Think of it as your marriage’s love bank: plenty of deposits in the form of positive, fun experiences and minimal withdrawals in the form of conflict and fights.

Let’s get you started on filling your love bank with the following tips:

Tip 1: Start Small

Don’t begin this process by taking your dream vacation together. Instead, start with something simple like going out together for a cup of coffee, or going for a walk in the park together. You can build your time and pleasurable activities together as your comfort level increases.

Tip 2: Push Your Marriage’s Boundaries

Be gentle with yourselves, but at the same time push to have some fun together. It may be hard at first, especially when you are dealing with so many difficult
problems in your marriage. But if you let the fun die, you are only going to increase your problems.

Tip 3: Brainstorm… Together

For those of you who have a difficult time deciding what to do, or have a hard time coming up with creative date activities, I recommend brainstorming.

Look through your local paper, check in about events that are going on in your community, think about ways you can take advantage of your surroundings (living in the country versus the city will make a big difference in terms of the kinds of local activities you might find), and make a list of every single fun activity you can think of doing with your partner.

Tip 4: Is Lack of Money an Excuse?

If your financial picture is less than stable, here’s a sample list you can use to get your own creative juices flowing:

• Free days at the local museum
• Free concerts in the park
• Community walks
• Hikes
• Garden explorations
• Family days at the local aquarium
• Wine tasting
• Church socials/dinners
• Dances
• Farmers’ markets
• Bike rides
• Have a picnic with or without other friends
• Have a barbeque with or without other friends

As you can see, it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money to go out and have fun with your partner. You can spend as much or as little as your budget allows. What’s more, you can spend more or less time having fun depending on what your schedules allow.

My best to you as you and your spouse fill your love bank and save your marriage.

When is the last time you had fun with your spouse? What did you do?

Can you remember when your love bank’s balance shifted and became weighted more to the negative side?

What are things you did before that you enjoyed together? What stops you from doing them this week?

Please share your ideas and personal experiences on this topic with other members of the community.

Wishing you hope and healing for your marriage,

Stephanie Anderson
Editor-in-Chief
Marriage Sherpa

0 What happens after you end your marriage?

When you walk down the aisle in a white wedding gown, the last thought in your head is saying goodbye to the man you are walking towards. You vow forever and you seal this with a kiss. But what happens if years later, you realize that those promises have to be broken?

The line must be drawn somewhere

Sylvia and Therese (names have been changed) both left their husbands for different reasons, but both drew the line at the same point.

“I wasn't who I was anymore,” says Therese. “I had given up a lot of who I was and what I wanted to do for the sake of our marriage. And when that happens to you, it’s not a nice realization. You feel cheated and sad and unhappy.”

Sylvia agrees. “I realized one day that I had turned into a person I did not like at all. I also realized that if I stayed in that relationship, I would actually be telling my children that it's okay to be treated that way. I didn't want my sons to grow up thinking that it's okay to cheat on their wives, or my daughter to think that it's okay to be abused. I wasn't just responsible for myself, I was also responsible for my children.”


The reaction of friends

Although Sylvia’s friends and family supported her decision, Therese’s situation was not as clear-cut. “Half my friends weren't my friends anymore,” she says. “I guess they believe that people should be together until death despite being unhappy with each other. I did try to make things work with my ex-husband but there will come a point in time when you have to decide if it is really worth it and if you'd want to waste years of your life on a relationship where you'll be unhappy. It wasn't an easy decision but it was one that I was happy I stuck with. I did have friends who supported me, they're the ones that stick with you no matter what and don't judge you.”

Related: Abandon Everything You Thought You Knew About Saving Your Marriage And Avoiding Divorce!!

The changes you make

Because Therese didn’t have kids, she didn’t have to make major changes. She did move out and find her own place, but one of the big adjustments she had to make was to find new friends. “Most of my friends were married and some had kids and since I lost half of my friends, I had to find newer people to hang out with,” she says.

Sylvia, on the other hand, had four children to support. “I knew that I wouldn't be able to count on the father of my children,” she explains. “He was bitter about the separation, and blamed me for everything that went wrong. I expected that, and that's fine. Working hard for my children is far better than staying in a toxic relationship.”

The tale you tell

What you can’t escape in our society is judgment. But both Therese and Sylvia say they don’t really talk about it unless they’re asked. “I'm really not the type to explain my actions to people,” says Sylvia. “If they asked, I just told them the truth.”

Therese adds, “And for those who asked, I sometimes did sense judgment, but I expected it so I just toughened up. At the end of the day, it didn't matter what they thought because I knew I was happy with my decision.”

Related: Only You Can Decide if Your Marriage is Over

The freedom it brings

“ I feel more free now. Life has opened up possibilities I never thought I would experience,” says Therese. “When I got married, I could visualize a certain kind of life and when it didn't happen, I was sad. But you just move on and follow whichever road or opportunity opens up. Now my life is so different from what I thought it would be. Onwards and upwards is what I say!”

“My life changed for the better,” shares Sylvia. “I’m happy. My children are happy. My parents are happy. Plus, I'm doing work that I love! Of course, managing my finances can be challenging at times, but that's just money. I can work for that. My sanity and peace of mind, that's hard to lose!”

source: http://ph.she.yahoo.com/

0 Common Reasons Why an Affair Ends

There are different reasons why a person decided to end his or her affair or cheating. I found this article that explains some of the common causes of an affair ending and i think that the writer showed some good points on the issue. Whether its just a phase, guilt or for whatever reason you must understand that an affair does not have a high chance of working out or ending well and it hurts everyone in the process.

I often have two different sets of people asking me this question. Sometimes, people whose spouses are having an affair want to know why and how affairs end so that they can attempt to make the affair end sooner. Other times, I hear from the people involved in the affair. They don't want it to end so they are looking for common pitfalls in the hopes that they can avoid them. Much of the time, one party is hoping that the affair ends (and is looking for a way to help this process happen more quickly) while the other is hoping that it never ends. In the following article, I'll tell you some of the most common reasons that I see affairs end.

The Affair Will Commonly Fizzle Out As The "Newness" And Excitement Wears Off: There's no question that, to many, part of the appeal of the affair is the fact that it's taboo and forbidden. There can be an excitement that comes with a new and secret relationship. But as the early days give way to old ones, this sense of newness quickly wears off and gives way to the familiar. And when this happens, a lot of that excitement goes with it. When this happens, the affair / relationship will often just die a natural death or fizzle out. Because it's often not real or genuine feelings and emotions that are holding these two together. It's a facade that fades.

Sometimes, The Guilt Becomes So Overwhelming That One Party Chooses To End The Affair: It's also not uncommon for one person to end the affair out of guilt. There's a stereotype that people who have affairs are unfeeling and don't care about their spouse anymore. This isn't always the case. Many do feel guilt and some even end the affair because of those same guilt feelings. Although the person on the other side of the affair will often hope or think that the person with whom they are cheating has distanced himself from his family or is no longer as invested as he once was, this sometimes proves to be not the case.

Sometimes The Faithful Spouse Finds Out About The Affair And A Choice Must Be Made: It's not at all uncommon for the faithful spouse to learn about the affair (and sometimes the unfaithful spouse will confess to this themselves.) When this happens, the faithful spouse will often issue an ultimatum and demand that a choice be made. And it's not at all uncommon for the cheating spouse to end the affair in a response to that ultimatum because they decide that their spouse is more important to them than the other person.

An Affair Can End Because One Or Both People Involved In It Realize That The Relationship Just Isn't Working Anymore Or Was Built Upon Misconceptions: It's also not uncommon for one or both people in the relationship to evaluate it and decide that it isn't working anymore or just isn't what they thought or hoped it would be. Often in the beginning, they can build the other person up to be something who he or she is not. After all, if you're going to risk your marriage and your family to participate in infidelity, that other person must be awful special. But, after a while, it becomes easier to see them for who they really are or aren't. And when this happens, you can realize that the other person (or the relationship) just isn't worth the risk or the personal costs.

When Reality Sets In, The Rose Colored Glasses Can Come Off: In the beginning of an affair, both people are usually on their best behavior and are working very hard to make each encounter exciting and memorable. Usually at least one person is investing a lot into the relationship. But this can only last or be maintained for so long. Eventually, she might see or have to pick up his dirty socks. Her lack of character might start to annoy him and the list goes on and on. The point is, eventually, the relationship behind the affair becomes like any other relationship - warts and all. And it can become fairly obvious that if the affair in marriage is going to have all of the usual problems of a marriage or other long term relationship, then what's the point?

The End To An Affair Can Come Very Abruptly Or Quite Gradually: Sometimes when people think of an affair ending, they picture a very dramatic breakdown. I've had people tell me that they sat on the phone while their spouse called the other person and instantly ended the affair. I've heard of nasty face to face confrontations and threats to never ever have any contact again. But an affair doesn't always end with a bang. It can also end with a gradual whimper where one person quietly breaks it off or the interactions or meetings just become less and less frequent until they eventually end altogether.

No matter how and why affairs end, most do end eventually. Statistics show that very few relationships that start as an affair end up in marriage - much less a marriage that actually lasts. There's an exception to every rule, of course. But for the most part, an affair does not have a high chance of working out or ending well. That's why it can be advisable to never start one in the first place.

source: goarticles.com

0 What Is Divorce Mediation

Before you consider hiring someone to help you with your divorce problems. I think you should consider first to ask for someone's help to mediate between you and your partner.

Divorce mediation is a method which is used to find solution for those issues on which divorcing parties are locking horns. At times, what happens is that in a contested divorce, both the divorcing parties get stuck on issues like spousal support or child support. To resolve such issues divorce mediation service is initiated. During mediation, both the divorcing parties meet with their attorneys along with a court appointed third party. This third party is a mediator who helps both the parties resolve their conflict. The biggest benefit of divorce mediation service is that both the parties get chances to discuss their issues, try to resolve issues and come on a common agreement. The job of the mediator is to help the parties resolves their issue and not to enforce any decision or agreement. Mediator acts as intermediary and offers opinions or provides suggestions to the parties.

Given below is some of the biggest advantages of a divorce mediation:

* There is no point getting your divorce cases dragged into litigation for months; thus, increasing the attorney bills. With the help of divorce mediation, you can wrap the case in less time and can save a lot of money. Once the mediation process is successful it replaces the formal process of divorce court. The major impact of mediation is that it reduces the legal process for the parties and minimizes the case load on family law court system.

* Mediation is fair for everyone. The mediator appointed by court does not have any interest in the outcome. They do not gain or lose anything. Because of this reason, they can see possible solution for the conflict, which the divorcing parties cannot see because of the emotions involved.

* It is a confidential process. No court lawyer will be present to note down every word that is said. If there are any notes made by the divorce mediation attorneys, then they are thrown away after the case. Thus, saving you from any public embarrassment if the data is leaked in public. In this process, there is no role for public court system.

* Divorce brings along loads of stress and sadness. The effects of divorce are long lasting in the mind of the children. Imagine the amount of stress your children will go through if the divorce application keeps getting dragged in litigation. All you are doing is paying attorney fees and hoping for something that may not come despite losing everything behind it. You might get a settlement but what's the point of getting a settlement when you paid more attorney fees than what you got.

Mediation was introduced in the legal system to decrease the pending case load on family court system. It is cost effective, takes less time and increases the chances of getting a better settlement than what you will be getting after getting over with the court litigations or with out of court settlement.

source: goarticles.com

0 Only You Can Decide if Your Marriage is Over

Having problems with your Marriage? Is your Husband having an Affair?

Before you read the rest of this article, let me cut it for you short! Only you can decide if your marriage is over.

It’s natural for anyone to have an initial reaction of wanting to leave the relationship as soon as an affair has been uncovered. But this is not always the best reaction when dealing with the problem of infidelity in your marriage especially if you have kids.

In fact, some experts recommend that you don't react this way. Assuming that your partner has not already filed for divorce and moved on, you should at least attempt to repair your relationship with your partner and try to salvage your marriage before you decide to consider divorce.

Women will often talk to their friends and/or family members about the infidelity of their partner and ask them for their opinions on the next move that they should do. If someone you know confides to you about this matter then I highly advise that you should be careful on what kind of advise you are going to give. If you are the type of person who confide in your friends or family for advice then you should also be very careful and reconsider if you need to follow the advice that was given to you. Most of the time people who are closest to you may advise you to immediately leave your partner. You should understand that this is their defense mechanism trying to protect you from further pain. Those people truly do care for you and have the best intentions. But you should remember that only you know the exact details of your marriage. You are the only one who knows what’s happening with your relationship. That’s why no matter how good the intensions of these people are. Only you can decide if your marriage is over.

In the end, you are ultimately the one who will make the decision of leaving or staying with that relationship.. You are the one who will suffer or not for the rest of your life and live with what choice you make. But if you have children then you should remember that you should also consider them into your decision.

I won't lie to you but separation is one of the toughest decisions that you may face in your lifetime. But you should also understand that dealing with infidelity in your marriage does not mean your marriage is necessarily over. It’s more important to know if you can still salvage the respect between you and your partner, remember that it’s not always recommendable to leave your partner behind especially if you still can salvage your relation with your loved ones.